If she didn't look like me I would swear ......

Tonight after a lovely family dinner my daughter retreated to her room and came out with a document that she handed me. The paper looked as if it had been chewed up and spit out by a dog. At first glance I could barely read the words because it was so badly creased but I knew from the title and the signature lines at the bottom that it was something from her school that required my approval. I looked up at my teenager and asked her why the paper was in such horrible condition. She was not surprised by this question because we have gone through this many times. I even went to her school once and made her take all papers out of her locker and organize them into folders. I have spent money on folders and files with the hopes that she will no longer bring me documents to sign looking worse than the dead sea scrolls. So I asked the question and she proceeded to tell me that the rain did it. [Enter Blank Look] I repeated her response and she shakes her head yes giving me a look that says how dare you doubt me. I asked her how the rain got through her book bag then into the folder where I know you had this paper and she responds that the rain is always messing up her papers. This is all news to me, guess I have to go out and find plastic to cover her book bag.

I brush that stupid excuse aka LIE aside and notice 1/4/11 printed at the top. I ask her when the teacher gave her this paper and her response is...drum roll please.....LAST WEEK. Amazing right? The teacher gave you a paper dated Jan 4th last week, what a load of crap. Then I asked when the paper is due, already knowing the answer, and her response was TOMORROW. This is another issue we constantly have to deal with, her bringing me things at the last minute. So when I ask her why she has done this AGAIN she tells me she forgot about it and yadda yadda yadda. After about a minute of listening to her speak I began to tune her out. I eventually held my hand up, suddenly feeling very exhausted, and told her to stop because I couldn't take it anymore. Relieved I had released her from the explanation process she trotted off back into her cave I mean bedroom.

Ughh if she didn't look just like me I would swear she were not mine.